Therapy Ins and Outs: What You Should Know
Whether you’re a parent, new mother, teen, student, older adult or working professional, if mental health therapy is new to you, there may be things about the process you simply don’t know. Heck, even if you’re not new to therapy, you may benefit from what follows.
Therapy Takes Time
Whether grief, depression, lack of confidence, anger, anxiety, parenting or panic attacks have got you down, know that change takes time. This doesn’t mean therapy is never-ending. However, tending to your issues for at least 50-minutes per week for several months is typically the minimum necessary time needed to improve your mental health. The length depends on many factors such as the therapist’s skill, the rapport with the client, the client’s willingness to work on their issues between sessions, the client’s issues themselves and much more.
Quick fixes (1-4 sessions) typically don’t have lasting effects unless the reason for seeking therapy is singular and uncomplicated. But life’s problems are typically complicated, multi-faceted and messy. Steady, weekly, consistent work for extended periods of time, typically has a more significant and lasting impact on clients’ mental health.
To start off, most clients can expect weekly sessions and then, over time, may begin to move appointments further apart as he/she/they feel more resolved. This is a decision both you and your therapist can and should make together. It is not a decision that should be made by oneself—whether therapist or client.
Articulate Your Preferences
Perhaps you prefer structure, enjoy reading assignments between sessions, being tasked with specific challenges or you despise take-home work. Whatever your preference, vocalize it to ensure your therapist knows what you want of your therapeutic experience. If you dislike or like something your therapist does in session, let them know. For example, if you like when your therapist ends your session by summarizing what you discussed, let them know. This will help your therapist help you. Keep in mind, you may request certain things of your therapist that he/she/they disagree with or choose not to do and (hopefully) they will explain why. The point is you can discuss it and collaborate through it together.
Similarly, if you feel the same or worse than you did before you started therapy, your therapist will want to know this. It is ok to share that you don’t feel you’re improving. Together, you can find solutions, make sense of what’s happening, build insight and articulate your thoughts and feelings about it. This alone can improve mental health.
Ghosting Your Therapist
Over time, you may wish to meet less frequently or perhaps your schedule has changed, making it difficult to squeeze in appointments on the weekly or worse, your finances have nearly evaporated. Whatever the case, bring it up in session. Your therapist can help you address these common dilemmas and collaborate with you to identify solutions.
What not to do? Ghost your therapist. He/she/they want to help you and will likely do their best to accommodate your needs (within reason). When clients fall silent, stop showing up, stop paying fees, and quit responding all together, it’s disrespectful and unproductive, to say the very least.
You will not offend your therapist by voicing your struggle to pay or meet weekly or by voicing that you feel capable of moving on and “graduating” from therapy. Therapists want to accommodate your needs and bringing up such topics is an essential part of therapy. The worst you can do is stay silent about it—that doesn’t help anyone—not you or the therapist. Many therapists will work with clients to create a payment plan, when necessary, provide referrals or space out / change appointment times to accommodate clients’ needs.
To summarize, therapists only know as much as clients communicate with their words, behaviors and actions. While therapists are highly skilled and intuitive, they cannot read minds, so it is up to clients to ask questions, share their concerns and talk about their preferences.
