Realistic Self Care for Parents

Jan 1

It seems as if social media has taken over the term self-care to mean extreme lengths to care for oneself. But self-care does not have to mean bubble baths, massages, spa days, beach vacations, or drinking cocktails at the newest bar in town.

To all the Parks and Recs fans out there, I apologize, but a “Treat Yo Self” day is not self-care.

Can bubble baths and vacations be a form of self-care? Absolutely. But these are often unrealistic, especially for parents, because of time and/or finances. And if self-care causes stress because it takes up too much time and/or money….is it really self-care? We need self-care that is more consistent and realistic.

When working with my therapy clients who are parents, I encourage them to find small ways to practice self-care as often as possible (daily is ideal). Being a parent is difficult and it is easy to put ourselves last. But hopefully the list below inspires a few ways to take time for yourself whether it’s in the morning, a midday energy boost, or a way to close out the day.

Body/Physical Care

Simple skin care routine at night.
Stretch your body for 2-5 minutes.
Massage your hands and/or feet with lotion.
Paint your nails.
Take a 5-10 walk around the neighborhood.
Any form of movement/exercise you enjoy (yoga, run, online fitness class, etc.).
Have your own dance party to your favorite music.

Rest/Contemplation

Eat a favorite dessert or snack without distraction (this includes phone and TV distraction!). Enjoy what you're eating with all of your senses.
Try out a guided meditation on Insight Timer (app).
Light a candle, defuse some essential oils and sit for 5 minutes enjoying the aroma.
Turn on your favorite music and just sit and listen.
Listen to an audiobook or podcast.
Practice gratitude - name three things you're thankful for each day.
Find “awe.” Look and reflect at something that gives you the sense of “awe.” A beautiful sky, watching your child play/read/etc., looking at pictures of space, lighting a candle and noticing fire, etc.
Journal about your day.
Sit outside or in a cozy spot with a cup of coffee, tea, etc.

Activities/Hobbies

Work on a puzzle (jigsaw, crossword, Sudoku, etc.).
Find a way to play (work on a Lego set, play solitaire - with actual cards!, video games, with your kids, etc.).
Find a creative outlet (doodle, calligraphy, watercolors, coloring books, write poetry or a short story, dance, embroidery, etc.).
Read a book for 5-10 minutes.

When doing any of these ideas, I would recommend to be as present as possible. Turn off the TV. Set your phone aside. Go to a room separate from your kids or partner. If 5-10 minutes seems too long to be away from the kids and/or responsibilities, start with less time and slowly add more time. 2 minutes is better than 0 minutes.

Find what works best for you. You deserve time for yourself.