Understanding Childhood Anxiety: Connecting Brain and Body
Did you know that everything that happens to us affects the way our brain develops? Simply put, what molds our brain are our experiences.
To explain this, let’s start with a quick exercise. I challenge you to notice what happens in your body when you read each of the following words:
Disney Land
Airplane
Work
Car Accident
Anxiety
Vacation
School
Childhood
The Unknown
Chances are, at least one of these words caused some kind of dysregulation to your nervous system. Did you get the chills? Did you stomach start to ache? Did you hold your breath? Did your heart start beating a little faster? Even though I could probably bet a million dollars that you experienced dysregulation, I most definitely would not bet a million dollars on a word that caused the dysregulation for you. Why? Because I don’t know your perception or historical experience pertaining to each word.
Our brain is always looking for patterns and templates to make sense of the data and world around us. When an experience comes up, we reach back in our history to recall anything that seems familiar or similar to what we just encountered. We then hyperfocus on the experiences in the past that did not go well and project them onto the current experience. We assume that this is what is going to happen again which causes anxiety. We do this because our brain errors on the side of caution as a means of protection. Our main goal as humans is survival!
Therefore, we can experience varying degrees of anxiety and dysregulation depending on our historical experiences. Children, compared to adults, are more likely to experience anxiety in regards to new experiences because they do not have as many life experiences to know that they will make it through something. Remember, our main goal is survival! Children’s anxiety and dysregulation peaks in transitions because they are required to move into an unknown situation. Therefore, it is important to make the unknown, known.
As a play therapist, I often give the following tips to parents Below are some parenting tips for transitions and processing historical experiences.
Visual timers are a great way to remind a child of how much time they have until a
transition will occur. Below are a few of my favorites!
Describe what the transition is going to look like. Instead of saying, “we are leaving in 10 minutes,” provide more detail to your child. Tell them what they need to do when the 10 minutes is up. Do they need to get their shoes on? Do they need their coat? Do they need to be in the car? Describe each step specifically so there are no uncertainties in regards to the transition.
Model for your child what to do when something unexpected does happen. Let’s face it, whether we would like to admit it or not, we cannot predict every minute of the day. Unexpected things happen all of the time. Therefore, it is important to name the experience aloud. It could be as simple as, “That was definitely unexpected.” Then, model a regulation skill to work through the dysregulation caused by what just occurred. Take a deep breath, get a drink of water, jump up and down, etc.
Is your child able to recall a historical experience that didn’t go well for them? Encourage them to be a storyteller and control the story. Let them recall the experience at a pace that feels comfortable to them. They can rewind, pause, and fast forward throughout the story. Sometimes creating a remote control is a helpful visual to aid during this activity as well.
Challenge your child to notice sensations in their own body when they recall an experience. How does their stomach feel? How do their muscles feel? Try doing the above exercise together with your child.
Read The Whole Brain Child by Dan Siegel. I recommend this book to all parents. It helps explain child brain development and how to utilize this knowledge in parenting.
If you think you or your child could use some extra help or guidance, please reach out! I offer play therapy services to children in the Cincinnati / Blue Ash, Ohio area. Part of my role as a play therapist is to assist parents understand their child’s behaviors and emotions, and help parents learn ways to help their child at home.
